It is often advised that you should ‘live everyday as if it’s your last’. For those of you who don’t think this is a stupid idea you may be thinking, ‘But how?’ Here’s how:
It all depends on the way you’re going to wind up spending your last day. Once you’ve found that out, the rest of your life is easy: just repeat!
Therefore we’ve compiled a comprehensive list of the different ways you might spend your last day according to the manner of your demise. Simply pick the fate that fits your personality best.
Death by Freefalling Piano.
You spend your final day oblivious of your own mortality, enjoying the fruits of life in the company of your family, friends and a few intrusive colleagues who really can’t take a hint.
Likely personality traits: Happy, Smug, Irresponsible.
Death by Uncovered Manhole Plunge
On your day of reckoning you constantly crane your neck up at the sky due to the recent passing away of your long term friend by way of a sleek Steinway & Sons.
Likely personality traits: Worried, Intrusive, Poor At Reading Signals, You’re One Of The Colleagues Mentioned Above, It Was Only Meant To Be A Small BBQ.
Death by Quick Sand
You knew exactly what you were getting in for when you became a semi-professional adventurer. You’ll be spending your final hours flailing your machete in a haphazard manner. Fun yes, but ultimately fatal as you’ll sever the trusty vines that would have acted as your escape route. Bad luck!
Likely personality traits: Bold, Unemployable.
Death at the Fortune Teller’s
Being a pathetic person you’ll seek prophetic advice from a deceitful con merchant. On being told by such a person that you’re going to die one day, you rush out in a panic and drop your Molotov bomb everywhere. The fortune teller’s tent catches fire, killing you both. You may have tragically fulfilled your own prophecy but you’ve also shown the mystic up as a phoney, who surely should have predicted the Molotov bomb might have gone awry. That’s just basic health and safety.
Likely personality traits: Fickle, Armed.
That’s it guys! Obviously we can’t account for all end game scenarios but we’ve covered the main ones and it’s likely you’re in denial about being an injudicious discerner of which vines to cut and which to leave.
So get to it, get living! Dedicate each and every day to either ‘enjoying your life’, looking up a lot, wielding a blade, or seeking out useless if not detrimental predictions about how your life will pan out.