It was the summer of 2008. At least I think it was. I can’t be exactly sure because I was so fucked on drugs at the time.
When you’re on drugs you get pretty slack at time keeping and your general recall goes to shit. Don’t let anybody tell you that doing drugs on a regular basis has no bad consequences because it does.
Where to start?
I was in a crew of about eight genuinely top, top lads. We all hung out at the local swimming baths, The Europa Pools. Naturally, none of us could swim. But we didn’t go to swim (or to learn how to swim). We went to do drugs.
We had been well acquainted with the likes of MDMA and E for a while. We’d done smack a few times too. Right in the shallow end. One time we timed it just right and the hit arrived just as the wave machine got going. Honestly though, it was all very pedestrian in comparison to HARM.
Let me try and explain to you what it’s like to take a ride on a HARM tiger:
- Really powerful strobe lights seem like regular lights.
- Regular lights seem dimmer than they actually are.
- You can’t help but frequently announce, ‘I’m on HARM! I’m on HARM!’
- You have an out of body experience that enables you to feel and know the celestial deity that created all life.
- You feel like you need a wee even though you don’t.
- Often you walk on your tip toes (that’s how the police know you’re high).
Pretty fucking out there, right? Yeah, well, it wasn’t all good.
When on HARM it is literally impossible not to write a stellar guitar riff coupled with a transcendental yet meaningful lyric. So annoying. I honestly tried not to but every time I came to, there it was, perched on the end of my nose: a lovely vinyl recording of my chemically induced creativity.
Chucked all the records away mind you. I’m many things but an arts doper is not one of those many things. In years to come we’ll realise that Dylan, the Beatles etc are despicable cheats.
HARM ended up ruining all our lives. Reggie O.D.ed on it. I found his body in his bedroom buried beneath a massive stack of vinyls he’d produced himself the night before. They were all 12” so he had no chance. Too much filler really can be a killer.
My poor recollection for dates ruined my dream of ever becoming a highflying businesswoman’s PA. That and inequality at the work place; there’s still a very long way to go.
I’ve moved on since my HARM days and am now a full time lifeguard. Pretty good at my job if I do say so myself in this exclusively first person narrative. Then again, I admit that if I ever see someone having a cheeky shave at the poolside, dabbing on some HARM, I do turn a blind eye.